people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
