Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Michael Bay diarrhea
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
