So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
