Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
