Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Bring me that man meat
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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