And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
