The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
