are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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