College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
