Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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