I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
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