dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
