I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
