I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Randomize
