just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
She's the barista slut.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
