If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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