It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
