my vag is so smooth its legendary
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
