I'm lost and stupid without you.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
