Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
