yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Randomize
