why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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