Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
