I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
