i was born a porn star she said
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
