I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Randomize
