Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
