don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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