they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
