youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
