You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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