ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
