so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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