were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
is it fun? or sober?
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