hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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