ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
