Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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