I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
