Sry I called you an 8
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
