is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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