just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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