Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
