Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
