I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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