I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
