I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
