Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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