Sry I called you an 8
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Randomize
