we have officially lost it.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
