C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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