Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
