your thong is hanging out like whoa
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
